If there’s one thing motherhood has taught me, it’s that feeding a toddler is not for the faint of heart. When my son first started solids, I had these lovely visions of him happily munching on avocado slices, exploring new textures, and growing into a little foodie. Reality? Well, let’s just say we’ve had more peas on the floor than in his belly.

Like many parents, I found myself with a toddler who suddenly decided that only three foods were worthy of his time. One week he loved blueberries, the next week he acted like they were poison. It’s been a rollercoaster, but along the way I’ve discovered a few things that have helped us both survive mealtimes with a little more peace. I thought I’d share my experience — not as an expert, but as a mom who’s been in the trenches of picky eating.

The Day Food Became a Battle

When my son turned two, mealtimes shifted from a pleasant part of our routine to a tug-of-war. He went from trying anything I put in front of him to rejecting foods he had previously loved. Spaghetti? Nope. Carrots? Forget it. Yogurt — his favorite snack for months — was suddenly “yucky.”

At first, I panicked. I worried he wasn’t getting enough nutrients, that he would never eat vegetables again, and that maybe I was doing something wrong. I tried coaxing him, bargaining with him, even sneaking vegetables into foods (which worked for a while until he caught on). But the harder I pushed, the harder he resisted.

One night, after another meltdown over a perfectly good dinner, I realized I had to change my approach. He wasn’t going to magically become less stubborn, but maybe I could become less anxious about it.

Learning to Let Go (a Little)

The biggest lesson I’ve learned is that toddlers crave independence — and food is one of the few areas where they feel in control. When I stopped turning meals into a power struggle, things slowly started to improve.

Instead of insisting he finish his broccoli, I began offering a variety of foods on his plate and letting him choose what to eat. Sometimes he just picked at the bread, but other times he surprised me by nibbling at the chicken or taking a curious bite of green beans. Giving him that little bit of choice seemed to make mealtime less stressful for both of us.

Small Wins Count

I also learned that progress can be tiny — and that’s okay. My son didn’t suddenly go from eating crackers and cheese to enjoying a kale salad. But I celebrated the little steps:

• One day he licked a slice of cucumber.

• Another day he chewed and spat out a piece of apple.

• Eventually, he started actually swallowing bites of fruit again.

It felt silly to cheer over a lick or a nibble, but those small moments added up over time.

Making Food Fun

Toddlers love to play, and I realized food could be part of that. I started cutting sandwiches into fun shapes, letting him dip veggies into hummus, and arranging fruit into silly faces on his plate. Sometimes he was more excited about the presentation than the food itself — but more often than not, curiosity led to tasting.

Cooking together has also been surprisingly helpful. Even though he mostly just stirs or dumps ingredients into a bowl, being part of the process makes him more interested in what’s on the table. When he helps “make” pancakes or smoothies, he’s much more eager to try them.

Accepting the “Safe Foods”

At first, I resisted the idea of giving in to his preferred foods. But I realized that every child has their “safe” choices — the foods they feel comfortable with when everything else seems overwhelming. For my son, that’s pasta, bananas, and cheese.

I try to always include at least one safe food on his plate, alongside other options. This way he doesn’t feel pressured, but he still has something familiar to eat. Over time, I’ve noticed he’s more open to touching or tasting the other foods when his plate isn’t full of “scary” items.

Reminding Myself: It’s Just a Phase

I won’t pretend it’s easy. There are still days when my son refuses everything except crackers, and I worry again about nutrients and growth. But when I talked to our pediatrician, she reassured me that picky eating is incredibly common in toddlers. As long as he’s growing, has energy, and eats a variety over time (even if not every day), he’s doing just fine.

That perspective has been a lifesaver. It reminded me that picky eating isn’t a reflection of my parenting, nor is it a permanent state. Just like walking, talking, and potty training, learning to enjoy a variety of foods takes time.

What I’d Tell Another Mom

If you’re dealing with a picky eater, here’s what I’d want you to know:

1. You’re not alone. Most toddlers go through this stage.

2. Keep offering, without pressure. Exposure matters more than immediate acceptance.

3. Celebrate small victories. A lick, a nibble, or even touching a new food counts as progress.

4. Model healthy eating. Eating together and showing enjoyment of your food can spark curiosity.

5. Take the long view. Your child’s diet in a single day matters less than what they eat over weeks and months.

Finding Peace at the Table

We’re still figuring it out, one meal at a time. Some days my son surprises me by polishing off a bowl of strawberries; other days he eats nothing but toast. I’ve learned to breathe, let go of the guilt, and trust that he’ll come around in his own time.

The picky eating stage may test your patience, but it’s just one chapter in the bigger story of raising a healthy, happy child. And if nothing else, it’s teaching me the art of patience — one tiny bite at a time.